I’m learning more about my inner critic. I have known for years that everyone in my family has a tendency to say something like, “That was stupid of me!” or “I’m stupid!” and I thought that I had conquered that tendency in myself until recently when my daughter, Mary Andrus, told me about a workshop she conducted at an art therapy conference at which she led the participants in listening to their inner critic while doing art.
After hearing about her workshop, I began paying attention once again to the voice in my head that tries to keep me from achieving my goals, whether it is in the area of marketing my books, writing my blog, or painting watercolors. Lo and behold, my critic is alive and well. I’ve been keeping a list of its comments and as you can see below, after my critic speaks, I have a little dialogue with it.
STUPID!
I can’t do it.
Get me outta here!
I’m scared.
I don’t want to do it.
What the !#%! is wrong with me?
Why don’t I just try and see what happens?
I know that I will get a varied reception depending on whom I talk to.
Am I scared that they will bite me?
Am I scared of rejection?
How many rejections must I endure before I give up?
How about 10?
Make 10 calls and then stop.
I’ve done this before. It’s not my first time.
So just do it.
You wimp! You wimplet!
I don’t know how to do this!!
Okay. So do something, maybe make a mistake, and learn how to do it better next time.
So there you have it. A dialogue between my inner critic and me. It's almost like a poem. I am happy to report that once the dialogue reveals itself, I have been able to proceed within a few minutes to up to twenty-four hours for the scarier tasks.
So what does this have to do with peace and justice? Our inner critic sometimes blocks the efforts we would like to make to achieve peace and justice. But by having a dialogue with it, we can get around the blockage and move forward toward achieving our goals.
2 comments:
As human beings we all have a critical voice within us that guides us in the choices we make. The critic inside each of us is very different, yet we all have the common experience of dealing with this voice throughout our lives. This voice can become overpowering and can withhold one from taking the time to care for yourself, and may become a barrier in one’s self-expression. If you dialogued with your critic, what would it say?
-Mary Andrus,ATR, LCPC
www.art-therapist.org
My critic is like a bully that uses fear to prevent me from having new experiences. When I listen to what it is saying, and use reason to defuse its arguments, the critic retreats and I can move forward with my goals.
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