Breaking the Bipolar Barrier

Just reading the table of contents in Marya Hornbacher’s book, Madness: A Bipolar Life, offers the reader some insight into the world of bipolar illness – “Depression,” “Meltdown,” “Escapes,” “Hypomania,” “The Diagnosis,” “Losing It,” “Hospitalization #1,” “Hospitalization #6,” “Release.” The nature of bipolar disorder and schizophrenia makes the illness worse by the vicious cycle of paranoia, pain, and insanity that cause the suffering person do everything to sabotage her treatment, or as Hornbacher says, “…how to make sure that you’ll be getting crazier by the day.” So when her psychiatrist says, don’t drink alcoholic beverages, keep a routine, eat healthy, take the meds and so on, Hornbacher does just the opposite. Not because she’s intentionally trying to disregard her doctor's advice, but because her manic episodes and the voices in her head tell her that she’s okay, while the depressive episodes prevent her from taking any action at all.

Confounding all this confusion, the quality of care also takes its toll on her mental state as the emergency room doctors sometimes make medical decisions that oppose her own doctor’s treatment plan. In a sad, but amusing account Hornbacher patiently explains to the hospital psychiatrist that she’s not depressed, but coming off a manic episode. The psychiatrist decides to increase her antidepressant medication and sleeping pills. When Hornbacher argues that she’s an addict and can’t take the medication the doctor prescribes, the doctor says, “I’m sure you won’t start abusing it.” Nothing Hornbacher says can convince the doctor to follow the regimen prescribed by her own doctor.

Hornbacher’s account of her heroic struggles to escape from the insanity of bipolar disorder and her honesty and insight into her bizarre behaviors makes a fast-paced, gut-wrenching story that causes the reader to not only better understand those who suffer from this illness, but cheer with the hope that Hornbacher expresses when she experiences good results as she strives to take her medications, exercise, do yoga, use light therapy, participate in group therapy sessions, and listen to her therapist. Whether she can maintain this tenuous balance depends upon whether she can keep her swinging moods under control.

A brilliant writer, Hornbacher chronicles the often humorous but sad episodes of a person with bipolar disorder. In her manic episodes, she’s a university teacher, a writer, and a lecturer doing a hundred and one different things all at once, while drunk, on medication, with little or no sleep. With insight she says, “That I have made it all this way without dying or killing myself or someone else is a miracle, or a joke.” But it’s no joke that she has successfully chronicled an illness that has contributed to her brilliance as well as her sufferings in a way that allows the reader to understand and feel compassion for those who have been afflicted with bipolar disorder, and offers direction to those who might help.

Marya Hornbacher is the author of the Pulitzer Prize-nominated national bestseller Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia, a book that remains an intensely read classic, and of the acclaimed novel The Center of Winter. An award-winning journalist, she lectures nationally on writing and mental health and lives with her husband in Minneapolis, Minnesota.

Madness: A Bipolar Life
Marya Hornbacher
Houghton Mifflin
222 Berkeley Street
Boston, MA 02116
2008
ISBN: 978-0-618-75445-8
$25.00

From SaveDarfur.org

If you were invited to a party hosted by the enablers of the
genocide of hundreds of thousands of innocent civilians, would
you go?

Today, as the Olympic torch passes through San Francisco for its
only North American stop, join me in urging President Bush not
to attend the opening ceremony of the 2008 Beijing Olympics.

Click the link below to tell President Bush to take a stand for
human rights and skip the opening ceremony of the Olympics.

http://action.savedarfur.org/campaign/skip_olympics

China has the power to convince the Sudanese government to
accept deployment of the United Nations-African Union (UNAMID)
peacekeeping forces for Darfur. But instead China remains
Sudan's major weapons provider, largest foreign investor and
trade partner, and diplomatic apologist.

President Bush must not sit quietly and watch the lighting of
the Olympic torch - under the 'one world, one dream' banner -
unless China has used its influence to pressure the Sudanese
government to allow the effective deployment of the UNAMID
peacekeeping force.

We can support the Olympic Games, but we cannot support China's
tolerance for the atrocities being committed in Sudan. Beijing
should not be allowed to bask in the warm glow of peace and
brotherhood associated with the opening games if China is still
underwriting atrocities in Darfur.

Keeping "shoulds" out of dialogue

Did you ever have the experience of someone telling you, “You should do this or that,” but you dismissed it? It won’t work, I already tried it, it’s too easy, it’s too hard, etc. Then on another instance, just talking to someone helped you figure out your own solution that might have been very similar to the original “should” you heard. Is it the first friend who planted a seed? I don’t think so. I think that when we listen carefully without “shoulding” on others, we allow them to find their own solutions.

The other day, I was listening to my friend talk about her financial problems and her life in general. She needed a listener and I was waiting for a meeting to end so happily listened. When she was thirteen years old, her mother died and she went into foster care – a very bumpy ride involving rebellion, eating disorders, unsavory friends, and dropping out of high school. Now in her forties, she has little training other than serving in restaurants and doing nails. But she manages to maintain a positive attitude and a secure life in spite of her low income and lack of skills. At the very end of our conversation, she said, “At least I don’t do drugs and stuff like my mom did.” The next day, I saw her again and she said, “You know, after I got home yesterday, I realized that I use sleeping aids but they make me groggy the next day. Then I have to drink coffee to wake up. Do you think I’m an addict? Now I have to work on getting off this habit.”

The day before, I didn’t cast any "shoulds" on my friend, but due to our conversation, she was able to come to her own conclusions. That demonstrates the power of dialogue, listening, and keeping "shoulds" out of the conversation. When I truly listen to others and allow them to reach their own conclusions, the results are much more satisfying than if I had said over and over again that she should do this or that. She has her life to live and I don’t know what it’s like. All I can be is a mirror helping her to see herself through her own words and actions.

Different world views

World views emanate from individual thinking. We create our environment from our life condition or the thoughts we entertain. When we view the world as good, the world presents itself to us as good. When we view the world as bad, that’s what we see.

I have a friend who emailed me recently after a conversation we witnessed in which four people expressed very different views about Muslims. David related to me that he has been reading about Muslim history and culture and how the Muslim believers behave aggressively toward nonbelievers. He concluded with a list showing “from around the world we hear reports of fanatical Muslim atrocities against their neighbors.”

I find it interesting that David has come to these conclusions from his reading whereas I have reached different conclusions. From his reading, he said, “I have not heard of a SINGLE instance of a Muslim being mistreated in the United States.” In the Jan. 22, 2008 installment of this blog, I reviewed The Jihad Next Door about how six Muslim US citizens, were treated by the FBI following the 9/11 attack (http://createmorepeaceandjustice.blogspot.com/2008/01/ perils-of-innocence-in-america.html). This book certainly shows how Muslims have been mistreated and how their families live in fear due to intimidation.

Then David said, “Of course, the 'Old Testament' describes a code that is just as harsh and rigid as the worst examples we now see in Sharia. But in the West, only a tiny few try to live by those strictures, whereas a huge population of the Muslim world live under Sharia and seem to want to impose that on the rest of the World.”

Maybe it’s the qualifiers “tiny” and “huge” but it seems to me that Palestinian Arabs and Pakistani Muslims that I know and read about represent the majority of Muslims who wish to live in peace and have much less of a wish to impose their religion on others than do the Christian missionaries throughout the world.

It’s all about context. If I have a certain belief, then I read and talk with people who have similar beliefs. So my view ends up being much different from someone who reads and talks with people whose views are different than mine.

But I choose to believe that the “tiny” factions are those that promote negative causes and the “huge” factions are those that promote positive causes. And I further agree with Dean Carter of Morehouse College who once related that the positive forces are gathering and uniting so that when the current empires grow too large and collapse, these good forces will rise up to take their place. The current recession leads me to believe that a financial empire is about to collapse. Are the positive forces ready to step up?

Help lift others out of poverty

So many ways to take action to help others. One great example is 26 year old Shawn blank who is helping to provide children with education supplies, malaria protection, and water in Bangladesh. You can watch his video here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a9IS-3Z5EC4

And I just called my representative to ask for their support for the reauthorization of PEPFAR, America's lifesaving effort to fight AIDS, malaria and TB in the developing world.

You can help by taking action here:

http://one.org/call/signup.html?mode=house&cp_id=20

Thanks!