Grit Gets Me out of My Slump

I’m in a slump as can be seen by the dearth of entries in this blog. What is in my way? For the past several months, I have been feeling at loose ends, not focused, starting and not finishing projects, setting goals and failing to follow through on many of them. Being self-employed I sabotage my own ambitions by wanting to spend more time playing Scrabulous on Facebook than on anything else on my to-do list. I’m good at Scrabulous and I’ve won all the games I have played so far (which isn’t all that many) but all I really want to do is play Scrabulous and win, win, win. Maybe there should be an Olympic Scrabulous event.

What is it about the psychology of winning? Why do we want to win? To show that we’re better than others? Better than the best? What is so important about winning? Why do I like it when my score is higher than my opponents? It makes me feel good about myself, yes. Is that it? Does it make me feel less about others? No. I appreciate their wanting to play. But I’m afraid that if I win too much, they won’t want to play anymore. But I don’t want to cheat just to let them win. That’s why I was wondering whether I could play Scrabulous solitaire. But that would not be as much fun because of the social interaction. So do I let up a little or try to win? If someone lets up a little and lets me win, would I like it better than losing? No. I wouldn’t like the absence of a challenge.

So to figure out the answers to these questions, I Googled “the psychology of winning” and found an article in Psychology Today Magazine by Peter Doskoch called “The Winning Edge.” In it he outlines several qualities of people of average intelligence who accomplish their goals to solve difficult mathematical problems or get good grades in school. These qualities like grit, passion, ambition, self-discipline, optimism, and persistence comprise the winning edge. In addition Doskoch says, “Truly gritty people, however, tend to set especially challenging long-term goals” like the mathematician who spent ten years working on proving a theory as opposed to those who fail to show grit. And concerning getting good grades, he says, “The data demonstrate the need for parents and teachers to praise effort rather than ability.” It’s not how smart people are, it’s how much effort they put into achieving their goals.

So winning has nothing to do with besting someone else. It has to do with setting a goal and focused effort toward accomplishing it that might mean indirectly being better than someone else, but mostly it means achieving a personal goal to have a better time, get a higher score, of make longer, higher point words. So it looks like I have substituted playing Scrabulous for accomplishing my goals.

Does that get me out of my slump? It helps me see that without persistence, passion, self-discipline, ambition, optimism and grit, I’m not going to achieve my goals. Maybe that’s all I need to get started again on my goal of selling ten books a day, writing eight articles a month, earning more money, and starting an investment portfolio.

Source:
Doskoch, Peter. “The Winning Edge.” Psychology Today Magazine. Nov/Dec 2005.